And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
