Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
