I would go down on you faster than GM stock
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize