i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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