but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
