My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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