I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
