Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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