I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize