i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
