do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Church boner. Awkwardddd
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
