can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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