Sponge bath it is.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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