haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
