have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize