They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
All the doctor said was why
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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