Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
