love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
