It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
