nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
