I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
