Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
