i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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