some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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