So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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