I cockslap morals
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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