He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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