I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
