tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
