i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
