we're blogging at a bar
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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