Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so let's talk penis.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
