He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
