Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
