Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Randomize
