GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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