Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
