the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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