If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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