Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
