Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
