does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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