Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize