Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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