I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
