i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
