Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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