winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
