tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
