so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
