In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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