Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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