may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
