After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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