Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my mouth tastes like poor choices
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
