i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
