this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
