but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
