On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
